There are two things that I’m afraid of – snakes and the people who take my order in any fast food drive-thru; not necessarily in that order.
I don’t know if it’s just me, but it seems that every person who stands in that window has some sort of a noticeable defect. Either their lips are chapped, their hair is unkempt or they have the personality of a hooded cobra.
These entry level workers are bringing down the face value of their fine bleach-scented establishments. They are causing us hard working, grease lovers to resort to – dare I say it – dieting! We are resorting to bringing our own lunches to work because there is no longer any appreciation for all of us paying customers and the service we expect. We do not pay to hear teeth sucking, employee rants and the events of last evening. We do not pay for eye rolling, bad armpit odor or smart ass comments. We are paying for good food, good service and part of the mean ass employees’ paycheck.
There is something to be said for good manners, even as the rules of social behavior apply to a drive-thru. For example, what’s with the chick in the drive-thru window with the attitude problem? You know who I’m talking about – the girl who chews her gum like a cow or barely gives you any eye contact. The girl who gets offended because she can’t hear her cell phone conversation through her Bluetooth because you’re too busy trying to place an order. Heaven forbid you change your order or check your bag to make sure everything’s accurate.
Attention fast food manager, this girl and anyone like her should be fired! She is the reason why most Americans find working in a fast food chain so revolting and demoralizing. She epitomizes the paid non-worker, the underachiever, the trailer park prom queen and the home girl with the oversized gold-plated earrings. This is the girl to beware of. She is the one who will give you a sudden urge to raise your voice or drag her through the window by her dull, worn-out weave, all because she missed that very important class on good manners and customer service.
I say it’s time for fast food chains of the world to revert back to the olden days when drive-thrus were respected for their chic and hip idea of good quality service. Customers now-a-days would appreciate a little service with a smile as we face an economic crisis, heavy workloads and supervisors who really need to get laid. Bring back the days when Ronald McDonald strolled the grounds of McDonald’s waving happily at children while wearing his signature floppy red shoes and that ridiculously hideous yellow onesy. Get rid of that scary ass Burger King mascot who looks more like the puppet from the horror film “Saw” and give us an image that will not haunt us after we’ve closed our eyes for the night.
We, paying customers of the world, are uniting to ban fast food that is not served to us quickly. We are refusing to lie down and accept that you’ve run out of French fries or that your milkshake machine is out of order. We will no longer accept the incompetence of trainees during the lunch rush. In fact, we are going to rise up and rebut against the ignorance of your will to succeed. You have somehow managed to crap all over the integrity of the fast food franchise that began way back as early as the 1930’s. Our voices will be heard!
So guys and gals, the next time your neighborhood fast food window teller crosses your muddy path with spiked heels, don’t yell at her. Don’t curse at her. Don’t even argue with her. This way you’ll have a bit of assurance that she won’t spit on your food or wipe your hamburger patty on the side of the deep fryer. Instead, take your car and drive it through the window. If that doesn’t work, throw up the deuce sign and drive off. No no no…of course I wouldn’t advise that you let it go that easily. Make sure you return after-hours, when the business has closed for the night and burn that sucker to the ground! Lighters are sold at the $1 Store and comes in a pack of five.
I hope something that I’ve said has sparked you to stand up for your right to demand extra fries when a disgruntled fast food employee gives you a hard time for being more successful than they are. Someone else’s ignorance should not be your hindrance. If you don’t get those extra fries, crawl across the counter and go get them yourself! Well folks, if you take my advice and live to tell about it, feel free to come back! I am a cornucopia of information and you’d be surprised at the extent of my knowledge. Just remember not to knock on my door or ring my phone before 11am. If you do, your ass will get cut! That’s not a threat. It’s a promise.
Until next time my little chitterling flavored Chico-Stix! Don’t forget – 90% of any effort is getting started.
Quote of the week: “The journey of a thousand pounds begins with a single burger.”
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This post was submitted by Hottywood .